Every Child is a Superhero Waiting to Save the World... how to inspire their greatness.
The 7 Essentials: #7 - A Culture of Heroism
Have you ever noticed that children don't need to be told what a superhero is? It's like they're born understanding there are good guys and bad guys. There is a superhero inside every child waiting for their chance to shine.
Some of you might be saying, "You obviously don't know my child." That's true. I don't. But I've had a few children of my own and one that was so strong willed and out-of-control, that I went back to school to get a degree in child psychology - out of desperation. (Why I developed all these tools?)
The reality, is that my precious, strong-willed, little tyrant, had an angel locked inside of her that wanted to come out, but didn't know how - and I wasn't helping. Only when I began... read more raising the superhero inside of her, did the deviant behavior morph into her incredibly beautiful, strong personality. All that amazing energy has been changing the world ever since.
The seventh building block in the RHOPE Strategy (Rhinehart's Hierarchy of People Empowerment) is a culture of heroism. This answers the question, “Am I good enough?” This sounds similar to the 6th building block but they are actually quite different. “Do I have what it takes?” is based on what you do. “Am I good enough?” is based on who you are.
If we take the position that our children are super heroes because of who they are, then what they do becomes an overflow of their identity!
This defuses peer pressure because children who develop a clear understanding of their intrinsic worth develop an internal compass that is not easily compromised. Peer pressure has little ability to persuade them to participate in activities that do not align with their compass of truth. When children make mistakes, and they will, they are more likely to distinguish a bad choice from being bad a person.
Your Action Item
You can help your children develop intrinsic worth by expressing unconditional approval that is not earned or deserved or based on performance.
One way to do this is with your words. For example, instead of saying “You messed up again; you never do anything right!” you would say, “This is inconsistent with who you are. Next time stop and think it through. You’ll get the hang of it.”
The goal is to always confirm who your child is, not what he isn’t.
All My Best,
There are 7 Essential Elements required for children to be emotionally safe. When these are satisfied, your children are much less likely to subcome to peer pressure because they are empowered with tools to meet their emotional needs. We call these 7 Elements The RHOPE Strategy; Rhineharts Heirarchy of Peer Empowerment.